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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive guide to the words this generation is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {